Words, Friends, and Words With Friends: How to Win, Whatever Your Score


I love words. And word games. And my friends. And my Mom. And my Aunt and cousin. By playing Words With Friends on my phone, I find a way to combine all these loves every day.

And as a somewhat introverted ‘word geek,’ I not only love the challenge of using my vocabulary, along with various strategies I’ve acquired to play the game well – I also love keeping in touch without leaving my house or making a phone call.

I’m able to stay connected while also happily living my reclusive life at the same time. And I can do what I’m good at, which is everything to do with words, and with competing with myself only, to keep getting better.

My Mom and I even use our daily multiple games to keep in touch, and to keep track of each other. We know each others’ routines fairly well, so if one of us doesn’t send words within a few hours of when they’re expected, we get a text making sure we’re okay!

Playing “Words” Bring out the Best and Worst in Me.

I am grateful and amazed that my friends and family keep playing with me, even though I fairly frequently beat them, sometimes hard. And instead of hating me, (though my Dad has reported that sometimes he hears my Mom calling me names under her breath), they congratulate me on those 90 point words, praise me for how I play, and keep coming back for more.

Something I can (mostly) feel good about too is that they also keep getting better, which keeps me growing, and shows that I’m teaching and sharing my knowledge of and love for words, and the game, with others.

I also have one or two players who frequently beat me quite soundly, which keeps me humble, gives me empathy for what it feels like, and continually challenges me to do better.

I’ve never been someone who cares all that much about winning or losing. And I don’t think of myself as highly competitive, except against myself. I always want to do better and beat my record. But I have found that this game tends to bring out my competitive side, and I behave much more assertively in this space than I do in life.

I often find myself apologizing for drawing the high card, getting the better word, or otherwise doing something that might, however unintended, make the other person feel bad. Even with “Words” I sometimes feel sheepish if I win by 100 points, (which, by the way, happens much less often, now that most of my opponent/friends are on to me and learning, literally, how to beat me at my own game).

But still I find that a different personality comes out when I play. Though I still care more about the friends I play with than winning, or even my score, I do get more competitive than I usually am. I’m always trying to beat my best score, my average score and other stats.

The game shows you your own stats on various details of the game, and when I found out I was only playing 90 something percent of 2 letter words, I set out to learn, and play,  more of them, and somehow I reached 100%. I also keep trying to increase the number of “unique words played” and of JQXZ words, which means sometimes straying from the tried, true and convenient to challenge myself to expand my game-related vocabulary, and use more of my regular vocabulary as well.

The Good and Bad of Playing, and How it Affects my Work.

The downside is obvious, especially when I’m working from home. It’s far too easy to let my ‘breaks’ expand into my work time. I try to at least turn off notifications on my phone, so there isn’t the siren song of the game calling me when I’m supposed to be doing other things.

But I do think playing a few words makes for great short breaks throughout the day, which can, when used right, actually increase productivity. I also think my mindset when I play – that of continually wanting to rise to the challenge, learn new skills, and keep trying to beat my own records – may also help me face the challenges and unknowns involved in running and marketing my new business.

I’ll try to view it as a game, a fun challenge, something to keep doing a little better at, a little at a time. Just like I’ve found that meeting new, small challenges in my daily workouts – learn how to turn on the balance beam, increase the minutes I jog instead of walk, and so on have helped give me confidence that I can meet other challenges, in life and work, meeting challenges in the game can also stretch my brain, and my comfort zone, and what I feel is possible for me to do.

A Very Few Words about Strategy in Words with Friends

It’s important to have fun, with words and with friends, to gain vocabulary, and to be balanced rather than to over-analyze all the strategies just to win. It’s about learning and connecting, not just scoring points.

But that being said, let’s be clear that this game is definitely a lot about strategy. A good vocabulary and feel for how words work helps. And you will gain a special vocabulary specific to the game itself. That’s really important.

But you really do need to have a strategy also for how to place your words to maximize special spaces on the board, block your opponent, etc. At the risk of getting beaten more often, I’ll share some tips about that next time, including some from an expert or two that have thought out the whole strategy part more than I have or intend to.

So until next week, have fun and I’ll see you on the screen.